Gallup Poll Says 44% of Americans Have Tried Pot: Unrelated Poll Shows Remaining 46% May Already be in Jail

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Fiction, Humor, Information, Marijuana, Parody, Polls, Random, SATIRE

Credit: Ebaumsworld

Gallup recently released data from a July poll that shows 44% of Americans have tried cannabis at least one time in their lives. That means, if you have a family unit that consists of Grandma, Grandpa, your dad, his brother, your mother, you, your two sisters, your wife and your daughter, four of you have purposely inhaled at least a puff of ganja (I’m looking at you, Grammy Nona). This is a sharp rise from 1969 results, when Gallup first asked the question. In that poll, only four percent of Americans admitted to pot use; today more than 10% admit to being an average, run of the mill pot head (GRANDMA!? You minx!).

A similar but unrelated study found that 46% of drug busts in America are for marijuana-related crimes (that does explain Grammy’s “time away” back in 2012). Despite the government’s claims that the War on Drugs focuses on hard drug use, information released by the FBI tells a different story.

Okay, that was a stretch, as its unlikely that either one of these percentages has anything to do with the other. But that hardly matters, since Grammy Nona’s second husband told me that 47% of all statistics are made up on the spot, anyhow. Take another toke and hold it while that one sinks in.

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