Jake Sakaguchi, a Japanese-American resident of Dickshooter, ID, has requested assistance from local Idaho state representative, Riddle Silver (D, Owyhee County), in drafting a bill that would make the American flag illegal. Sakaguchi, who is a road construction flagman by trade, said the recent hoopla surrounding the anger that the Confederate flag has deliberately been causing as of late, made him realize that the American flag has been callously taunting him, too.
“I can’t take it no more,” said Sakaguchi in a recent phone interview with blogger Melanie Achers of nearby Grasmere. “For the past, oh, I don’t know, three weeks or so, that damn Old Glory got me to thinking about my heritage,” Sakaguchi lamented to Achers. Over the din of cars passing in the background, Sakaguchi said he considers himself a red-blooded American.
“But, America was flying that flag when my ancestors was struggling to survive in an inten – intare – oh, hell – some kind of camp that starts with ‘int-’ that was in California. My grandpa was a good, naturalized American who lived in Fresno since he was a baby. My dad and his sister were born in America, and Uncle Sam scooped them up out of their kind of nice house not long after the Japs – I mean, the bad ones – attacked Pearl Harbor,” Sakaguchi said, wiping away tears.
Congressman Silver added his two cents.
“Jake sorta has a point,” the Democratic representative told Achers. “I mean, the American flag was flying over that camp; I seen pictures. And, the people were being treated like animals. These were Americans, darn it. Sure, they had different colored skin and eyes that look like they’re always blocking the Sun. But, by gum, these were Americans. And the government took their homes, and property, and rice and everything, and made these people, who I assume were taxpayers, live in tents in the middle of the desert. All in the name of keeping them ‘safe,’” said Silver.
Silver and Sakaguchi began drafting the bill, which they call the Moratorium on Repressive Standards Act, or MRSA, after Sakaguchi saw a similar plot on a rerun of Hawaii 5-0 (not the good Jack Lord one; the 2010 one with the Australian guy and Academy Award-winner James Caan’s kid). That episode coupled with the kerfuffle over the Confederate flag in South Carolina, made Sakaguchi remember the stories his father told him about being a kidnapped and oppressed American of Japanese ancestry (plus some Choctaw Indian on his mom’s side).
“Just looking at the Stars and Stripes now, makes me so mad at the government,” Sakaguchi seethed to Achers. “How can people be so proud of what that flag stands for? Don’t people even understand how cruel that flag has been, or do they just choose to overlook it, like they done with those ‘int-’ camps for so long?”
Sakaguchi said that he as even scheduled an appointment to have the American flag tattoo removed from his left arm.
“The laser surgery won’t hurt nearly as much as the pain of betrayal I feel.”
(Satire: The use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues)