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Courtesy: MySafetySigns.com

Courtesy: MySafetySigns.com

My wife and I took our oldest daughter to Gillette Stadium on Saturday so she could see her favorite band, One Direction (don’t judge). But, this article has little to do with “What Makes You Beautiful” or “Midnight Memories.” I’m just setting the scene for you; if you know anything about boy band concerts, you know that there’s one constant you can count on finding there: girls…lots and lots of girls.

As for Gillette Stadium, if you’ve never been there, the venue is surrounded by a retail and entertainment complex known as Patriot Place. There are dozens of shops, restaurants and attractions to keep a parent occupied while being serenaded by the echoing reverberations of screams caused by what I assume is some sort of magic that is emanated from a British boy band.

Once Patriot Place is filled with thousands of swooning girls, one finds out quickly that Patriot Place lacks enough of one essential element: that would be restrooms. Now, I’m not indicting Patriot Place; it’s a great place to visit and the quality is above par. But, standard bathrooms inside buildings are few (there may be more, but I counted three at Patriot Place). To make up for this lack, the venue has set about numerous porta-potties.

Unfortunately, when I was in dire pee-pee dance mode, I was not near a portable toilet. I was closer one of those few restrooms, though, which was easily identifiable by the days-long line of ladies going down the hallway. As I (and most men) would have naturally done in this situation, I scooted past them as I headed for the men’s room. Lo and behold, when I got to the apparently line-less guy’s facility, I was not able to enter. You see, that room, too, was inundated with desperate women in need of relief.

I admit, I was upset. I mean, while I respect the bathroom plight that females constantly encounter, I don’t believe that I should be forced to seek relief elsewhere because women have overtaken the facility meant for the guys and me.  That’s an architectural or property owner concern, isn’t it?

Does the presence of women in the men’s room immediately preclude me from using said restroom? Would I be in violation of some rule or law if I chose to rightfully use the men’s room, exposing my groceries while women were present? And, roles reversed, would women be outraged if a gaggle of men suddenly encroached on the female Fortress of Bodily Function Solitude?

Fortunately, my wife was able to talk me off the ledge, and the silky sound of Harry Styles’ voice (don’t judge) reassured me that “nobody can bring me down.” Still, do you think my frustration was justified, or should I have just sucked it up? Should I have waited in line with the females (I saw no other guys in the line)? What about the double standard: as a guy, even if I had waited in the line, would I have been wrong if I had gone into my own restroom when it was filled with women?

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