West Palm Beach, FL — Robert Matthew Van Winkle, who was once briefly known as the “rapper,” Vanilla Ice, has issued a sheepish apology for a misguided Open Letter he emailed to the New York Times earlier this morning. In that email, the “Ice, Ice, Baby” chanter went off on the general population of the United States, and presumably the rest of the world, as well, for the apparent “lack of recognition [to him] on this most sacred day that was set aside just for [him].”
Van Winkle complained that he had not been invited to a single fair or recognition ceremony, and was certain he would have been informed a couple days ago if the President was going to call him. Van Winkle’s butthurt? Today, July 23, is National Vanilla Ice Cream day.
When Mutton Chambers, reporter for the Times, contacted Vanilla Ice to explain the discrepancy, the singer-turned-television host was shocked.
“Wait, what?” Van Winkle quizzed. “All these years I been bitching to my posse about nothin’, then, huh?”
The rapper said he was sorry, but did make one suggestion to Chambers.
“Like, I do deserve my own day, though, right?”